In an industry that's constantly having to deal with criticism that it's running out of new ideas, it's good to see that there are still some blue sky thinkers out there. Sure, the plot for the upcoming Bait 3D may be a mere whisker away from a number of other films and boil down to 'shark in a supermarket', but what's wrong with that? An Australian production starring The Twilight Saga's Xavier Samuel and Nip/Tuck's Julian McMahon (who I'm pretty sure isn't in the trailer), thanks to this film we'll finally get the answer to the age old question of who would win in a fight between a shark and a tiny little dog.
Admittedly borrowing elements from The Mist, Tremors and that shark movie people are always talking about (no, not Deep Blue Sea), any film that has someone using a wire shopping basket as a shark-proof helmet is okay by me. Also, bonus points for using "clean up on aisle 7" as its poster tagline.
As one last marketing push for the re-release of a thirteen year old movie, George Lucas' minions have decided to target the crucial kid demographic by talking to them in a way they understand, i.e. talking to them like they're retarded surfers.
"Woah dude! This movie's still totally going to suck, but this time in 3D!"
I'm paraphrasing but you get the idea.
Star Wars: The Phantom Menace 3D is re-released in cinemas on February 10th. Or you could just trick your kids by staying at home, putting 3D glasses on them and watching the film on those videos, DVDs and Blu-rays you own.
Something smells rotten and it's not just the fish. If you're planning on watching Shark Night 3D with your chums (yes, that is a fish pun), you might want to read my review first...
Straight from the Epic Movie school of celebrity endorsement, I present to you this attempt of viral marketing for the upcoming DVD release of the appalling looking film, Eldorado 3D.
This film has been a long time coming (I saw the original trailer a year ago and made my feelings about it pretty clear then), so much so that cast member David Carradine has had the good sense to be dead for nearly three years. Still, that left Steve Guttenberg, Daryl Hannah, Michael Madsen, Sylvester McCoy and Rik Mayall available to do some promotion for the film, and yet...
Incredibly, rather than stopping at that first abomination they've made a whole bunch of these insults to Youtube users, my personal favourite being the one with the dodgy Britney Spears lookalike who's incapable of speaking like a normal human being.
Sorry, when's the film out again?
Maybe in the future all marketing campaigns will be like this and Eldorado 3D will serve as a video essay for future filmmakers on how to market your movie, but then again, maybe not. Aside from the virals there's also a series of short trailers hitting the web, thankfully free of Captain Jake but trying to make some unfounded and potentially libelous link between this film, The Rocky Horror Picture Show and Blues Brothers. I can hear John Landis' and Richard O'Brien's lawyers rubbing their hands together with glee now.
Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star? Definitely not the agent who got him this role. Proof you can have too many fingers in too many pies, the self proclaimed 3D Horror Comedy Western Musical has decided to go for a different audience for its DVD release on January 30th, changing its artwork from the predictable blandness of this...
to the frankly terrifying image of this.
They say you should never review a film you haven't seen, but I'm going to stick my neck out and proclaim Eldorado 3D to be "THE WORST MOVIE EVER MADE". Prove me wrong, internet. Prove me wrong.
For reasons that I hope are obvious after seeing this trailer, despite being the sequel to a film that I didn't think was that great when I saw it in the cinemas, the awkwardly titled Journey 2: The Mysterious Island has made it onto my must see list for next year. Gone is original lead Brendan Fraser and in his place is the man who likes to be called Dwayne, but usually gets simply called The Rock.
Sure, it looks about as geologically accurate as the first film and is so brightly coloured you'll finally be glad you're wearing the light dimming 3D glasses, but by having a massively improved cast (hello Sir Michael Caine, even if you are dressed like Sean Connery in Medicine Man), it should be a lot of fun. As trade offs go, switching the original star Brendan Fraser for Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is like swapping a Moped for a Maserati, him alone being worth the price of admission. Need proof?
Have you ever seen Brendan Fraser bounce berries off his pectorals in 3D? I think not.
If you're holding any sharp objects, put them down for a moment. Here's the newly released trailer for the upcoming fifth installment in the Final Destination franchise.
You've got to love this new trailer for Drive Angry 3D. It just stops short of Nicolas Cage literally picking up his well earned Best Actor Oscar and throwing it back in the Academy's faces. Yeah, I know it's just a joke to go with the movie, but it's a reminder of how far (or how low) Nicolas Cage has gone since Leaving Las Vegas.
We've got to wait until February 25th to find out if the film's any good or not, but surely it's worth seeing for some over the top action from William Fichtner's bad ass, not to mention the worst hair I've seen on Nicolas Cage since he sold his own in a deal with the Devil.
I think I've just found a new front runner for worst film of all time. A film so cringingly terrible that no one looks good in it. A film that undoes any goodwill Quentin Tarantino had created for the cast. A film called...
