BOY MEETS BOY review

In Berlin for a weekend break, junior doctor Harry (Matthew James Morrison) meets dancer Johannes (Alexandros Koutsoulis) in a club, just as his weekend of dancing and casual sexual encounters is coming to an end. With hours left before his flight home, Johannes agrees to show Harry the sights of Berlin as the two men open up to each other about their lives, loves and relationships.

Owing a huge debt to Richard Linklater's Before Sunrise, Boy Meets Boy follows the two young potential lovers as they breathe in the atmosphere of the city, debating everything from the benefits of finding sex on Grindr and Tinder to whether Eurovision is "gay revenge for the World Cup" as they bicker and build a real connection that neither are used to experiencing. Harry, an aimless doctor looking for his calling in life, has become accustomed to finding brief fulfilment via casual sex he has through dating apps, conditioning himself so far into the lifestyle that he never wants to have sex with the same person more than once, whereas Johannes believes in the power of forming a bond with another in a traditional relationship, albeit one that may come with caveats to a partner's behaviour.

I'm a sucker for a decent film set over the course of one day in a beautiful city, and this vibrant, talky, unabashedly frank romance doesn't disappoint. The topics they cover are at once insignificant and hugely important, allowing both of the lead characters to get the measure of the man opposite them whilst contemplating whether this connection could lead to more than their limited time together might allow. Directed and co-written (along with Hannah Renton) by Daniel Sanchez Lopez, the two, often opposing, viewpoints of the young men adds a real spark to their day together, with their cynicism and prejudices laid bare to reveal how they both think they should be navigating their way through this world of modern queer relationships. Both Morrison and Koutsoulis impress in their roles and have fantastic, exhilarating chemistry with each other throughout in a Berlin that positively glows, leading to some gorgeously romantic, cliche-defying scenes as they enjoy the prospect of a dance by the river and give in to their impulses.

A film that is hopeful in its outlook but that doesn't ignore the harsh realities of modern love, sex and relationships, Boy Meets Boy is a frank, often bittersweet and emotionally raw film that also bathes in the unavoidable romantic splendour of its sunny locale. The Linklater comparisons may be inevitable and justified, but equally, this is a brief encounter I'd be happy to see more of in the future.

Verdict

4/5

Boy Meets Boy is now available to buy on DVD and digital, and also at the peccapics website.

TUCKED DVD review

When new girl Faith (Jordan Stephens) starts as a performer at a Brighton drag club, ageing Queen Jackie (Derren Nesbitt) takes her under his wing. Having recently discovered he only has six weeks to live, Jackie enlists Faith to help tick some life experiences off his bucket list, and hopefully reconnect with his estranged daughter, Lily (April Pearson).

The world of drag is one that has seen a huge boost in popularity in recent years, in no small part thanks to TV shows like the hugely popular Ru Paul's Drag Race, but until now UK drag has been under explored. Brighton is one such place that has a thriving drag scene, with a mixture of old school cabaret clubs and newer, edgier comic performers bringing in the crowds. In Tucked, the grand old dame of the club, Jackie, sings Gloria Gaynor's I Will Survive, and walks the floor telling dirty, innuendo laden and self deprecating jokes like "I'm not fat, i'm just easier to see" and "do you know the difference between your wife and your job? After 5 years, your job will still suck", followed by the newer, glamour-puss queen Faith, whose act relies as much on beauty as it does biting wit.

Tucked may draw you in off the strip with the promise of a story about drag queens of different generations, but it's really not about that at all. This is a story about Jack 'Jackie' Collins, an old, straight man who in the evening enjoys dressing up in women's clothes and performing to a crowd, but who in the day is lonely, and haunted by past decisions that have cost him his family. His life only changes upon the arrival of Faith at the club, who after Jackie discovers she is sleeping in her car, gives her place to stay. After learning about Jackie's illness, Faith hopes to repay Jackie's kindness by helping him tick some things off his bucket list like getting a tattoo and doing drugs, leading to an awkward but funny interaction with drug dealer Steve Oram.

Brighton native Jordan Stephens, AKA one half of Rizzle Kicks, puts in a solid performance as Faith, a young queen who doesn't "think that what's between my legs defines me". This unwillingness to conform to a specific gender identity hints at aspects of Faith's life that are ripe for drama, but despite Stephens receiving top billing, I'm sure even he would concede he is the supporting player here, rightfully making space for his co-star Derren Nesbitt. A veteran actor with credits as far back as 1956 and roles in films ranging from Where Eagles Dare to The Amorous Milkman (which he also wrote and directed), he's been relegated to occasional Grandad roles in recent years but is astonishing here.

Jackie is a complex, damaged man, and the performance from Derren Nesbitt is why you should see this film. He's in almost every frame of the film and completely dominates the story with this empathetic, wholly believable character he's portraying. Although the dichotomy between his character and the much younger Faith is only touched upon briefly, and Faith's story is under-explored to say the least, the story this film tells, albeit probably not the one you were expecting, is still a compelling one.

There's a charm about Tucked that's exemplified by Jackie's club routine. Yes, some of the jokes are old hat and have punchlines you can see coming a mile off, but they're delivered with real heart and conviction, the material being elevated by the performer to another level.

Verdict
3.5/5

CRITTERS ATTACK - FRIGHTFEST review

 

Children of the 1980's will be well versed in films with tiny monsters running around small town America. On the top end of the scale is Joe Dante's Gremlins, a Spielbergian family horror with cute, marketable furry monsters as well as the hideous ones; the bottom end of the scale occupied by Ghoulies, best remembered for its toilet dwelling monster on the VHS box art. Somewhere in the middle of that scale is the Critters franchise. Not a complete rip off of the spawn of Gizmo, but I think it's fair to say the Crites wouldn't exist without the appearance of Gremlins on the big screen in 1984.

The Critters films existed in a brief bubble between 1986 and 1992, in an era where practical puppetry ruled, just before they were summarily trampled by the CGI dinosaurs that were to come. Now, after a small screen revival at the start of 2019, the Crites are back in film form, with a (mostly) new cast of characters and some interesting developments in the Critters canon.

The film introduces us to Drea (Tashiana Washington), a young woman dreaming of attending Leroy College, the alma mater of her deceased mother, but can't seem to catch a break with the admissions board. Hoping to make herself known, she takes a job as babysitter to one of the professor's children. Meanwhile, on the other side of town, two mysterious objects have crash landed, one containing the Crites as we know them from previous films (and quickly making a meal out of a takeaway delivery boy), the other housing a new, mysterious white creature the Crites seem to be looking for.

There's so much to enjoy about this reboot of the franchise, 27 years after the last big screen instalment. Wisely, they've opted to avoid the introduction of CGI Critters, maintaining the practical puppets that resemble evil little hedgehogs. That may well have been a budgetary decision, but it's worked in the film's favour. Sure, there's times when in the cold light of day the lighting does the look of the puppets no favours at all, but when they're put into darkness (as the previous remote farmhouse, inner city block and, er, outer space settings did), the little beasties look much more menacing.

The filmmakers also know that a Critters film needs to deliver a healthy amount of fun, so the introduction of the (minor spoiler) white Critter Queen, later dubbed Bianca, lends a new element of bizarre world building. She's a character that clearly takes some inspiration from the introduction of the female Gremlin in Gremlins 2: The New Batch (bonus points if you know her name is Greta), standing apart from the almost identikit design of the other (male) puppets. Also, no spoilers for the plot of the film, but it helps that she's kinda badass.

Of course there are also humans in the film, lead by Tashiana Washington's Drea. As a young woman eager to fulfil her dreams whilst also caring for her younger brother Phillip (Jaeden Noel), her drunk uncle Sheriff Lewis (Stephen Jennings) and now professor's kids Trissy & Jake (Ava Preston & Jack Fulton), she's a likeable character that, crucially, you don't immediately want to see get eaten by the Critters.

35 years into the franchise and operating with a low budget, director Bobby Miller should be commended for offering the Critters series a new lease of life. Sure, it's corny, ridiculous and not the most original film you'll see this year, but for nostalgic fans of the original series, this more family friendly iteration is pitched about right, offering some characters you can root for, some you can't wait to see get eaten, and plenty of ridiculous Critter action.

Hey, I managed to get all the way through this review without mentioning the only piece of Critters trivia anyone knows, that Leonardo DiCaprio was in Critters 3! Except for now.

Damnit.

Verdict
3/5

SWISS ARMY MAN DVD review

Easily one of my favourite films of last year, out now on DVD and Blu-ray is the tale of Hank and Manny embarking on a story of friendship, love and hope whilst trapped alone on an island.

Paul Dano stars as Hank, a man stranded on an island and close to suicide when farting corpse Manny (Daniel Radcliffe) washes up on shore, quickly realising that he may be his only hope of survival and escape from the island. From directing duo Daniels (whose background is in left of field TV comedies like Children's Hospital and NTSF:SD:SUV, and yes, they're both called Daniel), Swiss Army Man could quite easily have been little more than Weekend at Bernies meets Cast Away. Both excellent films in their own special way, but thankfully this is neither as slapstick as Bernies nor as isolated as Cast Away. The film, largely a two hander between Dano and Radcliffe's beached boys, is full of invention, and a bizarre and unique idea that pays off massively.

I'm not one who's easily amused by fart jokes, and although it's understandable why Swiss Army Man has become known as the farting corpse movie, it's much more. So much more. Despite delivering a number of fantastic performances in recent years, it hasn't been the easiest of tasks for Daniel Radcliffe to free himself from the shackles of the boy wizard. Well, nothing announces yourself as a fearless actor more than appearing in a film that features a close up of your hairy arse crack and an erection that doubles up as a compass.

Rather than just emitting bodily gas, Hank soon learns that Manny is able to provide him with everything he needs to survive; drinking water, chopping tools, and eventually conversation, as he starts to relearn the ability to talk. Showing himself to be a highly talented comic actor, as Radcliffe's Manny regains sentience and a boyish innocence to romance and the world, his ability to deliver a one-liner that would be a social faux pas in polite company is both hilarious and signifying of the burgeoning bond between himself and Hank.

Dano is one of the most talented actors working in independent cinema today with a near impeccable taste in projects; however, it appears that he is well aware of his typecasting as the lonely, hopeless romantic type, and Swiss Army Man both plays to and subverts that image. Hank is in love with a woman he rides the bus with every day, and it is the exploration of his relationship with her that provides an introspective commentary between himself and Manny that helps solidify their bond.

A story of the power of friendship and what it means to be alive, together Hank and Manny create a makeshift world from trash, recreating scenes from Hank's life that allow him the chance to do things differently this time. In this respect the film taps into a Gondry-esque charm, recalling the creativity of Be Kind Rewind along with the emotional introspection of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. This approach also applies to the soundtrack which largely consists of a vocal chorus, provided by Andy Hull from Manchester Orchestra. It's dreamlike and ethereal and unexpectedly touching.

Based on its synopsis alone, it is understandable why audiences may be sceptical, but they needn't be. Paul Dano is dependable as ever and Daniel Radcliffe provides what is undoubtedly one of the bravest performances I've ever seen. Surprisingly deep and introspective, Swiss Army Man is a philosophical, funny and flatulent delight that deserves to be talked about as one of the greatest films of the year.

Verdict

5/5

HELGA, SHE WOLF OF STILBERG DVD review

The second release on the new Maison Rouge DVD label, Helga, She Wolf of Stilberg is out now on DVD.

AKA The She Wolf of Spilberg and not to be confused with Ilsa, She-Wolf of the SS, Helga is part of the Nazisploitation genre that sprung up in Europe in the 1970s (Basically, they still like to wear military uniforms with symbols on their arms, but their moustaches are different), and is still going to this day to some degree, although often with added zombies. 

Helga stars Malisa Longo as the nymphomaniac prison warden title character, dominating the women that are rounded up and sent to her to be used as currency with the local farmers who line up the women and decide who they are going to rape in a barn. I'd go as far to say that Helga isn't the main character, as the focus drifts onto Elisabeth and her attempts to free herself and her fellow prisoners from this cycle of abuse.

Something of a recurring theme in the exploitation world, Helga, She Wolf of Stilberg is a hell of a title that may garner more enjoyment from saying it out loud than actually watching it. That's perhaps to be expected from Patrice Rhomm, the director of bawdy titles like Captive Women 4 aka Elsa, She Devil (also in the Nazisploitation genre). Under various pseudonyms including the frankly amazing Homer Bingo, Rhomm directed a number of films in and around the "adult" movie genre of Italy, and that's fine, but hopefully they contain better sexual politics than Helga.

There's whipping, leather, sexual and physical domination and the sexual procurement of women, and although there is an inevitable fight back against this patriarchal regime by some spirited young prisoners tired of their treatment, their knee high leather boots and high hells slow down their attempts to escape, and they are easily recaptured. Typical.

The sexual violence here is often displayed as something sensual, and that's a very clear and disturbing issue you have to try to come to terms with in order to enjoy this film. In one scene the prisoners are forced to strip off one by one for examination by a moustachioed officer, but the fact that this clinical procedure is meant to excite and potentially arouse the audience says it all, really.

As a document of the era in which it was made that's fair enough, but by modern standards it can make for uncomfortable viewing. Unlike the first release on the Maison Rouge label, Bare Breasted Countess, that could be appreciated as tittilating fluff, Helga's focus on sexual domination may leave a bitter after taste. There's some value in Helga's exploitation tropes, but only as long as it's viewed by an audience who can distinguish that this is a product of its location, genre and time.

Verdict
2/5

PET review

One of the biggest crowd pleasers at last year's Frightfest in London, Pet, starring Dominic Monaghan as a lonely man living in LA who decides to lock a girl up in a cage, is out now on DVD.

After a chance encounter with an old classmate on the bus, dog pound worker Seth (Dominic Monaghan) starts to be obsessed with Holly (Ksenia Solo), stalking her online, visiting her at work and following her home. Deciding that she is in danger and he is the only one who can offer her salvation, he captures her and secretly cages her at the pound where he works. Holly begs for her freedom, but is there truth to Seth's motivations?

Monaghan has one of those faces where he can play either sympathetic or a creep with ease, and he often takes advantage of this to switch from slightly endearing oddball to full on sociopath. Likewise, the seemingly normal Holly appears to be your average young woman trying to make something of herself, but when confined to the cage she is able to call upon the darkness within herself and gain control by manipulating Seth's desire for her.

It would be conceivably hard to find new ground within the literal and figurative limited space her character has to work in, but it's a bold, gung ho performance from Ksenia Solo that offers a few interesting elements, including Holly's attempts to talk to her roommate (Jennette McCurdy) that raise a number of questions with intriguing answers.

The direct-to-video market is liberally littered with horror films and abduction dramas where a girl unexpectedly finds herself captured and caged, but Pet is among the best of the bunch, offering a new spin on where this well worn set-up could go. Feeding off the sado-masochistic nature of its premise, Pet works hard to sell its twisted romance storyline to reasonable effect, knowing the genre conventions we are expecting and trying to subvert them as often as possible.

Dark, twisted and occasionally very nasty, Pet is an enjoyably unpredictable thriller with two solid lead performances.

Verdict

3/5

BARE BREASTED COUNTESS DVD review

Driven to commit heinous crimes by an evil force, the Countess (Lina Romay) returns to the island she calls home and slowly begins to kill the locals using her powers of seduction.

Jess Franco's Bare Breasted Countess aka Female Vampire has been released under various guises and cuts in its lifetime (including a hardcore cut going by the not so subtle name of The Swallowers) and is rife with all the hallmarks of a Franco film; female nudity, dealings with the occult and a subject matter that made him the bane of film censors. It's also very, very silly. So the question is how best to approach this review? Tongue in cheek or tongue in.... well, I'll let you finish that sentence off yourself.

The opening scene sees our lead, the Countess Irina Karlstein (a mute ingenue with a penchant for parading around with her top off) meeting a young man at a farm, where she performs fellatio on him before chomping down to feed from him in semi (pun intended) traditional vampire fashion. As a mute it is hard to establish her motivations, but luckily she does provide a winsome voiceover to her cliff top drives and there's a handy reporter on hand at the start to help out with a lot of the exposition. Using her mouth as her weapon of choice she lures innocent young men with her feminine wiles and then performs deadly fellatio on them, or as the coroner puts it when he is presented with a corpse drained of semen and blood, he was "killed by mouth".

In terms of cinematic craft there's not a lot going for it, but the tropes and language of this softcore era are all present and correct here. At a time when throwback genre films such as The Love Witch are currently in cinemas, this is a great opportunity to see how close it comes to recreating the real thing. It's almost entirely dialogue free, just occasional snippets to connect one softcore scene to another; and although perhaps not as immediately reference friendly as Franco's Vampyros Lesbos, this is still classic European exploitation cinema. As well as direction from Jess Franco (under a pseudonym), this film also features two of his regulars in his muse Lina Romay and friend Jack Taylor, moustachioed and resembling a cut price Franco Nero.

Surprisingly and almost certainly accidental, there is a feminist subtext to this film with Irina ranking somewhere near Jess Weixler's Dawn in the horror/comedy Teeth for female characters who use their sexuality to satiate their needs against the wishes of the male led society. I'm certain that this reading was not what was intended during production and it's a bit of a stretch to imagine this film wanting to appeal to anything other than the male gaze (you could get yourself in serious trouble by having a drinking game for every time the camera lingers on a gratuitous crotch shot), but at least that way it affords the character more depth than what is on show.

Partially due to, shall we say, more sophisticated cinematic tastes and storytelling methods, it's hard to not make this kind of 70s era straight-faced eroticism look a bit funny by modern standards (just look at the success of Belinda Blinked), but that doesn't mean there isn't fun to be had here. The depiction of female sexuality is frankly ridiculous and laughable as she dry humps her bed frame and then a phallic shaped pillow, and the mere fact that the main character is a beautiful, sex-crazed woman who isn't able to speak a word says everything you need to know about the sexual politics of the time.

The first release from new boutique horror label Maison Rouge with collectable art cards and a reversible sleeve included with the DVD; if you're a fan of this kind of euro erotica then Bare Breasted Countess should be in your collection, and if you're a fan of cheesy, over the top films that will give you plenty to ponder over, it's worthy of a place too. I'm still not completely sure why she masturbates over the corpse of one of her victims, though.

Verdict 2/5 for filmmaking

Verdict 4/5 for fun, so...

Overall Verdict

3/5

LIFE, ANIMATED review

Now available on DVD is the newly Oscar nominated documentary about the life of Owen Suskind, a young man with autism who found a way to make sense of his condition through Disney movies.

Directed and produced by Roger Ross Williams who won an Oscar for his documentary short Music by Prudence, he once again finds himself in awards contention with Life Animated. We meet Owen at an important juncture in his life. In his early twenties he is about to leave home and move into an apartment of his own for the first time. He is a sociable and capable young man who has used the world of Disney films to make his way through his autism, as previously documented by his Pulitzer Prize winning father Ron in his book of the same name.

Like any normal family a lot of their son's childhood has been captured on video, and this is shown to illustrate how Owen changed so dramatically at such a young age. We flashback to 1993 when Owen was a young boy, playing in the yard with his father, and it impossible not to feel their pain when at only 3 years old, Owen retreated into himself and left his parents clueless as to what had happened to him.

What's clear from Life, Animated is that Owen is fortunate to have such a wonderful family. Ron and Cornelia are wonderful parents that have unique insights that some doctors wouldn't have been able to notice, such as the revelation that when Owen drew Disney characters, he would only draw the sidekicks. It's the Disney films that have allowed them to build their understanding of how Owen feels about himself. He has a poster of The Hunchback of Notre Dame on his bedroom wall not because it is simply one if his favourites; he relates to the Hunchback as someone who is viewed differently and at times ridiculed by society.

Also on hand is his older brother Walt (yes, Disney obsessed Owen's brother is actually called Walt) who says how he's been getting ready his whole life to eventually take over Owen's care. It's clear that he sees this not as a burden, but a show of how closely knit they are as a family. He's concerned about big brother stuff like Owen's relationship with his girlfriend Emily, and how as "Owen's basis for pretty much anything is Disney" he is struggling to broach the concept of sex to him, but Disney porn is briefly considered.

Owen is the complete star of the film, and what he has been able to achieve is remarkable, autism or no autism. Owen started up a Disney club at his school in order to share his passion and make new friends, and he is able to attract special guest speakers at the club to reenact scenes with members, including what is hands down the best surprise cameo of the year. It's a moment so great, it cannot fail to bring a tear to the eye.

Also incorporated into the film are animated segments that act as an imagining of Owen's internal world when he was a child. Rather than being like a colourful Disney cartoon, it's a bleak, stripped back, black and white sketching that completely encapsulates his isolation whilst also being beautifully realised. It is at odds with the charming and lively Owen we meet in the present day, but it works in showing how far he has come.

A film that is so joyous an experience it is easy to adore; it will speak to those who have children who are considered different from the norm, but this really is a film for any parent. You don't have to be a Disney aficionado to appreciate Owen's infectious attitude towards his favourite films (he still watches the same VHS copies he collected as a child), but it's hard to disagree that this does make Disney films and the world their characters inhabit look completely magical.

Verdict 5/5

THE BEATLES: EIGHT DAYS A WEEK - THE TOURING YEARS review

Money may not be able to buy you love, but it can buy you this lovely new exploration of the Beatles's touring years to watch at home, as loud as you can get it. Out now on DVD and blu-ray, Ron Howard's latest documentary follows the Fab Four during their formative years on the road and on their way to mega stardom, allowing you to be part of the mania.

If you're of a certain age like me, you'll not have been able to experience the Beatles in their heyday, only experiencing them through short clips on television that are used to celebrate their cultural importance. Part of the joy of this documentary is the chance to go long with their performances, soaking in all the atmosphere of their concerts and almost as entertainingly, their interviews with journalists, completely sideswiped by these cocky young men from Liverpool. Showing what brilliant musicians they were, playing to a packed crowd at Shea Stadium (through the crackly PA system, not that you could hear the band over the screams of fans anyway), they remain ever the showmen carrying on through the din, and in sync.

This is not a documentary about life in the Beatles as a whole, plagued with infighting, musical differences and, gulp, wives and girlfriends. This is a very specific snapshot about a very specific period in the bands existence in the 1960s when they were bigger than... well, you know who. As one of the most important and documented bands of the 20th Century, it's surprising to see how much new footage is presented here, making this a nostalgia binge for lifelong Beatles fans and an eye opener for people who under-estimate how much of a worldwide phenomenon they were.

It does place the band in the wider context of what was going on in the world, for example, the band's refusal to play to segregated audiences in America was a bold move that the band haven't been given enough credit for. Among the people able to offer some fascinating insights is Whoopi Goldberg, expressing her heartfelt reasons for loving The Beatles and what they stood for and stood up against.

Being on the road for such an extended period of time of course had a huge impact on their personal lives, but it's only their musical experimentation that's explored here. There's no John and Yoko, no Paul and Linda. Just John, Paul, George and Ringo and the connection and camaraderie between them has never been more clear. Yes, they make fun of each other, but it's out of brotherhood borne out of their rarest of situations. This documentary shows them becoming grown ups on the world stage, the band (in particular John) learning the hard way that there were scores of people waiting for them to put a foot wrong, ready to admonish them.

The Beatles: Eight Days A Week - The Touring Years may be cumbersomely titled and quite US-centric, but there's absolutely no contest that this is Ron Howard's best film of the year. The choice to limit its scope to these years pays dividends, although a follow up chapter would be most welcome. A lovingly crafted documentary that, although it may not be able to offer too many revelations, is still a must see for any Beatles fans. It's fantastic and infectious; in short, it's fab.

 

Verdict
5/5

Extra Features

Available in a few different formats, the 2 disc Collector's Edition features a whole disc of extras including a 64 page booklet with photos from The Beatles' private archive and an essay from music writer Jon Savage; a short documentary about the band's approach to songwriting with new interviews with Paul and Ringo; another short doc looking at the band's pre-fame existence in Liverpool; and the jewel of the extras is The Beatles in Concert, with live performances of some of their most iconic hits at one of the loudest locations you'll ever see.

THE GREASY STRANGLER review

Perhaps the craziest and most disgusting film we will see in our lifetime, The Greasy Strangler is now out on DVD and blu-ray.

I, err, well, err, what?

If you had asked me for an immediate reaction after first seeing The Greasy Strangler, that may have been all I was able to put together. Part of the line up at this year's Sundance London Film Festival, The Greasy Strangler has to be the most insane film released in cinemas this year. We are introduced to Big Brayden, a lank-haired oddball who lives with his father Big Ronnie. Together they operate con artist tours of the local disco hotspots, pointing out the street corners where some of the greatest hits of the seventies were supposedly created. It's on one of these tours that Brayden meets Janet, a local girl he starts a romantic relationship with, causing Big Ronnie's jealousy get the better of him and the return of a murderer who goes by the name of The Greasy Strangler.

It's no spoiler to say that Big Ronnie is the aforementioned strangler, attacking his victims in bloodthirsty, animalistic fashion, all while covered head to toe in a thick layer of grease. Ronnie then covers his tracks by putting himself through the car wash ran by his blind friend Big Paul, before hitting the town in his crotchless disco get up to dance the night away. Yes, that actually is the plot of a movie that you could be watching right now, but instead you're reading this. Thanks for the hits, but you really need to sort your priorities out.

Big Ronnie (played by the exquisitely named Michael St Michaels) is the cinematic villain of the year. A deliciously greasy bastard who is fuelled by hate and hotdogs, his thinly veiled contempt and outright hostility towards his son is something to behold. Choosing to blame his son for his wife leaving him for a man named Ricky Prickles, whenever his rage hits a certain level he feels the need to murder again, covering himself in a thick layer of grease before he does so. St Michaels has a fantastically condescending voice, spouting puerile and grotesque one-liners designed to keep his son right where he wants him; in the kitchen cooking the most disgusting and greasy food you will ever see.

Brayden (Sky Elobar) is a sweet idiot man-child held back by his domineering father his whole life, only choosing to stand up for himself and try to expose his father as the strangler when he fears that he's next on the list of victims. Their relationship is Steptoe and Son re-imagined through the eyes of The League of Gentlemen, a fucked up family portrait with genuinely appalling characters at its heart. Janet, the "hootie tootie disco cutie" that gets between this family unit is for all intents and purposes the femme fatale of the film, and despite an unglamourous approach to nudity that revels in the unconventional, there is an underlying sweetness to her and Brayden's romance that will almost make you forget what this film is actually about. Not for long, obviously.

Produced by Ben Wheatley's Rook Films and released by Elijah Wood's SpectreVision production company, this is literally the most invasive movie I've ever seen, and I mean that as a positive. This film doesn't just get under your skin, it gets all over it like a thick layer of... well, you get the analogy. There's so many things in The Greasy Strangler that should make you want to gouge your eyes out, but instead, it draws you in and forces you to love it. I was fortunate enough to catch The Greasy Strangler at this year's Sundance London Film Festival (where they bring the most revered and buzzed about films over from Utah), and although at first I wasn't completely sure that I even liked it, I found myself thinking about it on an almost daily basis and wanting to recommend it to everyone I know, to the point where I realised that yeah, I actually really like its batshitcraziness.

I suppose if you pour enough grease into your eyes and ears it's going to seep into your brain, and that's the effect I want from a midnight movie. This film is destined for word of mouth infamy, and with its infectious electronic soundtrack, disgusting behaviour and the strangest way of pronouncing potato you will ever hear, this is genuinely subversive in a way you can't call bullshit on. Unquestionably hideous at times, love it or hate it there's no doubt that The Greasy Strangler is that rarest of things; a completely unique cinematic experience.

Verdict
4/5

DVD extras include a commentary from the director and stars.

BITE review

People often return from holiday with many things. Memories, photographs, possibly a straw donkey. Well, Casey (Elma Begovic) has come back from celebrating her bachelorette party covered in insect bites and with an, ahem, nasty infection. Returning to the apartment building that also houses her domineering and disapproving future mother-in-law, Casey's bite soon becomes an oozing mess that she tries to hide from her friends and fiance as it changes her into...something else.

After the brief pre-title sequence that sees Casey on her bachelorette party where she received her bite whilst having a dip in a remote spring (captured as if it's found footage; an over-used gimmick in the horror genre currently, that is thankfully jettisoned when the film returns home), the majority of the film takes place solely within Casey's apartment. A budgetary choice i'm sure, but it works well in amplifying her increased isolation as the sickness takes hold. Retracing her steps by watching the video camera footage her friends captured on holiday in order to find out what actually went on, as she undergoes her transformation the film certainly delivers the ewww factor, turning her from a clammy mess into something amphibious and genuinely disgusting. Even the neighbours dog doesn't want to be walked by her anymore. 

What works is that the bulk of the odd and disgusting things around her apartment are achieved practically rather than relying on CGI effects. What's missing is any real sense as to why this is happening to Casey. The obvious touch point for any body horror is David Cronenberg's The Fly, which tapped into the 1980's fear of the AIDS pandemic to deliver a film with a real social conscience. Bite does cover a similar theme with Casey's potential promiscuity whilst abroad and the consequences therein, but there's a concerning implication that her desire for a normal sex life is what is being punished, something I doubt the filmmakers were aiming for.

There's some ropey acting among the supporting cast that detracts from the game portrayal of Casey by Elma Begovic (her mopey fiance does little more than stare at himself in the mirror, raising serious questions about the plausibility of their relationship), but as direct to VOD/DVD low budget horrors go, Bite isn't terrible, and the suitably slimy effects work alone warrants a watch by any fans of the body horror genre. Kudos to Begovic for creating pathos for a character who could be seen as a simple monster; it's just a shame that the dark sense of humour shown in the opening and closing stings is absent from the rest of the film.

Verdict
2.5/5

ALL THINGS MUST PASS review

Charting the rise and fall of Tower Records, Colin Hanks' All Things Must Pass is out now on DVD.

CRIMINAL ACTIVITIES review

Directed by Jackie Earle Haley and starring John Travolta, Dan Stevens and Michael Pitt, Criminal Activities is out now on DVD and VOD.

ROSENCRANTZ & GUILDENSTERN ARE DEAD DVD review

Starring Tim Roth, Gary Oldman and Richard Dreyfuss, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead sees two minor characters from Shakespeare's Hamlet take centre stage as we learn of their importance to the Prince of Denmark's tale. This is the other side of the same coin, if you like.

The 25th anniversary of the film (and 50th anniversary of the original play) is being celebrated with this new DVD, which comes with a bonus disc full of extras. Written and directed by playwright Tom Stoppard, it has a curious set up that will certainly pique the interest of many. In a time when sequels, side-sequels and spin-offs are increasingly prevalent, I was intrigued to see such an interesting idea applied to the work of Shakespeare; Hamlet, no less.

And there are things to admire about the film. There's a great interplay between Roth and Oldman as Rosencrantz and Guildernstern (I'll leave you to figure out which one is which), two contemporaries of British cinema who have worked together a number of times and who clearly have a great trust in their fellow performer. It's odd to see Oldman in a role that is mostly whimsical comic relief, but he's very good at it. A young Iain Glen takes on the role of Hamlet, resembling Alfie Allen in a way I'm surprised hasn't set many a Game of Thrones Reddit thread alight. His performance as the potential future King of Denmark is fresh and exciting, if not more suited to a theatre experience.

It would be appreciated more by those who've studied the Bard, but to fully appreciate the film, I think you would have to be a minor obsessive of Hamlet, of which there are some out there. As well as being about the trivial goings-on of a pair of minor characters, it's surprisingly dense, and as a film, it's a better play. With Stoppard's cheeky stabs (sometimes literally) at actors and their perceived pomposity (as evidenced through Richard Dreyfuss's troupe of travelling performers), it is a play about the theatre, and that doesn't quite translate to the big screen. It certainly has moments of wryly funny, sarcastic humour, and there is a charmingly off kilter approach to its obsessions with the minutiae of life and bizarre non-sequiturs that recall the cinematic works of Richard Lester. One scene sees Oldman holding a bowling ball and a feather and dropping them from a height. "You'd think this would fall faster that this..." Thud. "And you'd be right".

For fans of the Bard it's an interesting curio, featuring two performances from Roth and Oldman that are never less than watchable. Sadly, its overlong running time and often impenetrable text will struggle to capture the interest of a wider audience. It's cinematic limitations are clear, and the DVD even includes a candid interview with Stoppard from last year, where he discusses his motivations and limitations as a director. This was his sole directing effort, and despite some plaudits laid on the film at the time (Stoppard controversially won the Golden Lion ahead of Martin Scorsese's Goodfellas), his strengths do not lie behind the camera lens.

3/5

9 reasons why Duffy: The Talking Cat should be the most talked about film of the year.

1) It stars the voice of Eric Roberts, who sounds like he has literally phoned his role in.

2) If the quotes listed on IMDb are anything to go by, the dialogue will be amazing.

3) The director of this family friendly comedy started off directing porn films starring Ron Jeremy.

4) Although David DeCoteau is the director's real name, he has also been credited as David McCabe, Julian Breen, Joseph Tennant, Richard Chasen, Jack Reed, Martin Tate and in a curious case of gender confusion, Ellen Cabot, Victoria Sloan and Mary Crawford.

5) DeCoteau has an impressive eight films due for release this year.

6) Three of those films have !?! in the title.

7) I'm not sure that the positive quote on the cover is from a reputable source.

8) The cat on the cover looks like this...

Whereas the cat in the actual film looks like this...

9) The special effects for the talking cat are rubbish.

Duffy: The Talking Cat is released on DVD on 15th July. 

Here's the full trailer for your enjoyment.

World War Zombies VS Zombies of War - What a difference a swastika makes.

Once again proving that I'm quite good at spotting these things before they happen, it appears that the distributors of the upcoming DVD re-release World War Zombies have had a change of heart and decided to revert back to the film's original, less lawsuit baiting title of Zombies of War; the one it had back in 2006 before Brad Pitt decided to make a vaguely similarly worded action film that they could try and piggy back on.

To further distance themselves from the soon-to-be-released big budget World War Z, they've also made a few subtle changes to the design of the DVD cover, swapping out the overturned van for a tank, increasing the devastation around them and replacing the modern, US flag adorned soldiers with old school World War II soldiers with swastika's on.

So wait... are we supposed to be rooting for the Nazis now?

The Good, the Bad and the Blu-rays

There's only one major release this week that won't be to everyone's taste, so why not check out one of the smaller titles or documentaries that have been released this week too?

WORLD WAR Z - It's not just the zombies that are rising from the grave

I would never claim to be a fan of Mockbusters, the often shoddily made knock offs of Hollywood blockbusters that get released on DVD to coincide with the main theatrical release in order to confuse idiots and grandma's out doing their shopping in Tesco. I've never understood how people could get them confused with the genuine article, but as past experience has shown, they are a cottage industry now.

Still, at least the producers of such tat (usually The Asylum) have gone to some effort to actually go out and film something, rather than just change the name of an existing film to make it sound like a bigger, better and much more potentially profitable film. The latest film to suffer this treatment is Brad Pitt's World War Z, based on the book by Max Brooks, with 2006's Zombies of War becoming World War Zombies and 2013's Infected becoming Infection Z.

I just hope the irony of these films unwillingly rising from the grave and shuffling back to life isn't lost on the producers.

World War Z is released in cinemas in June. Expect to see Infection Z and World War Zombies gracing the shelves of your local supermarket's DVD aisle around the same time.

The Good, the Bad and the Blu-rays

The slowest week in a while with no big titles getting released, there's still one or two possible rentals mixed in.

The Good, the Bad and the Blu-rays

Not a stellar week by any stretch of the imagination; this week's most notable releases sees dangerous aquatic creatures taking over.