Thursday, 20 October 2011

Anyone Fancy A Dip?



Showcasing all the advanced gender politics of a teenage boy's wet dream, we now have the first teaser trailer for the sequel to last year's Piranha 3D, cannily titled Piranha 3DD. Here's hoping the extra D doesn't stand for diminished returns, and instead is just a cheeky reference to the boosted assets it has on show this time around. In other words, the tits.


I was a fan of last year's remake of Joe Dante's terror classic, which knew exactly how stupid it was and exactly what its audience wanted to see (*cough* Kelly Brook naked underwater ballet scene *cough*), but it's a different crew behind the camera this time around, so all bets are off. The return of the continuity-bothering Ving Rhames and the appearance of Mitch Buchanan himself, David Hasselhoff, do seem to suggest that we're in for a similarly tongue in cheek ride, perhaps even reaching a whole new level of ridiculousness. Shotguns for legs, anyone?


I do spy a problem in that there probably isn't many cinemas who will advertise the film with its current title. It's not overly gratuitous in any way, but your average audience will either confuse it with Piranha 3D or ask for an explanation as to why this is "3DD", a question no-one will be eager to answer. At best they'll have to advertise it as Piranha 3DD 3D, which is just confusing. I foresee them resorting to a much easier to understand title, like Piranha 2, for example. But then there's another problem, that there already IS a Piranha 2, the original sequel directed by some nobody called James Cameron. Perhaps they'll resort to adding a subtitle. The original Piranha 2 had "The Spawning", so might I suggest "The Porning"?


Hmmm. On second thoughts that's more stupid than what they've already got. Piranha 3DD should be with us in all its boob baring glory early next year. 


Apparently it's got some fish in it as well.

Tuesday, 18 October 2011

The Walken Dead


How to create a successful Youtube parody in three easy steps...

1. Mash together two popular culture icons that have no real connection to each other. CHECK.
2. Hire your amateur friends to appear in return for the promise that "this thing might really take off and we might all get famous". CHECK.
3. Be funny for the first thirty seconds but then go on slightly too long until the central joke is absolutely run into the ground. DOUBLE CHECK.

Friday, 30 September 2011

THOR BLU-RAY review

Out now on DVD and Blu-ray is Kenneth Branagh's Thor, the latest entry into the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Watch the trailer and find out what he's good for, next...


Thursday, 29 September 2011

INSIDIOUS BLU-RAY review

From the makers of the original Saw and Paranormal Activity, the creepy horror Insidious is out now on DVD and Blu-ray. Watch the trailer and read my review, next...

Saturday, 24 September 2011

Pain, Lines Not The Same and Automobiles


We've all seen our favourite films be released and re-released on DVD and Blu-ray, and I'm sure that by now we're all used to seeing every iteration being tagged with some humourous tagline or another (apparently Extended, Director's Cut and Special Edition just don't cut it anymore), but couldn't they have come up with a better one than "All Flights Cancelled. You're Scre" for Planes, Trains and Automobiles, a film that's not only one of John Hughes' best comedies, but arguably one of the best films of the 1980's?


The most recent US re-release of the film was titled the 'Those Aren't Pillows!' edition, which whilst hardly a relevant gag to put on the cover of a DVD, at least evokes happy memories of picturing John Candy's chubby digits nestled between Steve Martin's rosy cheeks. For the new UK Blu-ray release though, not only have they chickened out of writing the word 'screwed' on the cover (ooooh, scandal), they've failed to get the correct quote from the film anyway. As always, a quick search on the IMDb shows us the truth...


I'm assuming that is the scene the cover is alluding to, otherwise what's the point of the whole "You're Scre" line? Seeing as it's the punchline to one of the greatest exchanges in movie history (yeah, I said it), it might have been reasonable for them to place "you're fucked" on the cover, with a simple asterisk used the save the blushes of those of a sensitive nature. Or maybe, when you've got two massive stars in John Candy and Steve Martin and a iconic director in John Hughes, along with one of the longest and most instantly recognisable titles in movie history already on the cover, they should know when to just leave it alone.


If you like your Blu-rays with unnecessary bumph on the cover, Planes, Trains and Automobiles is out to buy from Monday. Luckily, the film inside is still awesome.



Thursday, 22 September 2011

JULIA'S EYES BLU-RAY review

Now out on Blu-ray and DVD, this Spanish language thriller from the same team that brought us The Orphanage (El Orfanato) is worth taking a look. Watch the trailer and read my review, next...

Saturday, 17 September 2011

KILLING BONO DVD review

Starring Ben Barnes and Robert Sheehan, now on DVD and Blu-ray is this tale of rock stardom gone wrong. Check out the trailer and read my review, next...

SUCKER PUNCH BLU-RAY review

Out now on DVD and Blu-ray is Zack Snyder's latest action 'spectacular'. Watch the trailer and read my review, next...

Thursday, 8 September 2011

Back To The Footwear

I think I might be misquoting, but as Dr Emmett Brown once said...


"Trainers. Where we're going we'll probably need really cool Nike Air Mag instant lace-up trainers."